LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
