Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
foreskin is a definite game changer
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
