But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
