??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
