There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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