YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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