i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
