shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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