Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
