I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
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Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Be still, my beating vagina.
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I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
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