You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
