You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize