It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
