so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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