I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We had to coat check the pizza.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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