Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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