I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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