Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
