dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Watching her eat just hurts me
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize