Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
