I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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