I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Randomize
