He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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