once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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