Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
