She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
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Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
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he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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