how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
