It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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