His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
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