After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
