Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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