I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Randomize
