i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
