i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
