yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
