i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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