You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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