I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
