the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We left the knife in your bed.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
