you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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