is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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