I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
