dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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