i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
