Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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