He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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