I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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