I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
