I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
