If i come over, it means nothing
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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