I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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