Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
