wat bout pragnant strippers??
one might say we're banned from that church
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
