Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
