I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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