How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
