im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
