Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
