Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Slut skills are useful in every country.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
