its not stalking. its research.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
