we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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