Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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