how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
